PrincipledMom™

Ever have one of those days weeks months? It seems that everything is wrong. Everything. I am not doing anything "right." I need some peace in my mind and rest in my soul.

I am going through a sort of crisis right now, so I've been scarce. I am not sure about my place in the world right now. I feel like I have so many ideas, so many plans, so many dreams. I have an opinion about everything in my life and that constant chatter in my head is tiresome. I feel like life is spinning out of control and I have no way to stop it.

I must work to find the balance I crave. As I said before, I am very much an "all or nothing" person, so slow changes are a challenge. When I get an idea of something I want to change, I want it to happen yesterday. I think that is in part to fear that if it doesn't happen right now, it may never change at all. But God is faithful and He is teaching me. He is showing me how to have balance, to get everything done that I need to and still enjoy my life.

Joyce Meyer says that enjoying your life is a decision. So why can I never seem to make that decision to just be happy? I am always in a discontented state; never at peace with my decisions. I second guess myself every chance I get. Could God really be in the midst of my mess? Could He use this condition to lead me to Him? I believe the answer is a relieved YES. 

He can use my discontent to show me that I will never be satisfied with anything outside of Him. I will never be "good enough" in my own eyes. I can never do enough, but then I am not about the "doing" at all. It's about the "being." I am to abide in Christ. I am to put on Christ. I am to enter into the divine rest. God is not so concerned about what I am doing. He is much more concerned with what I am being. So the discontent can drive me crazy or drive me to my knees, where my Heavenly Father takes me in His arms and gently, lovingly restores my soul. He draws me closer and closer until I can hear His heartbeat. Then He shows me His plans and my plans suddenly seem insignificant. I don't want my will, but His. And His will is for me to look more and more like Him every day.

Help me, Lord, to walk out Your will. Never let me be satisfied with my own way. That's truly divine discontentment.

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