PrincipledMom™

Do you make your kids share? That's the polite thing to do, no? It keeps us from feeling embarrassed around other parents and it makes us feel like we are doing a good thing, raising "giving" children. (We spend a lot of time concerned with feelings, don't we?...)

Katherine Dang has a lot to say about liberty. Sharing is no exception.  She challenges the idea of making your child share his belongings. Her take is this: never force your child to give up their property. You are raising a child with the idea of biblical liberty. Our three inalienable rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (property). As a parent teaching liberty, you do not force a child to surrender their property to another (socialism). You ask them to voluntarily allow another to play with or use their belongings.

Liberty is natural. Even a toddler instinctively knows there are things that belong to him and it goes against his law of nature to "share." We remove that notion, with the best of intentions, when we force them against their will to share. If it is not done  voluntarily with reasoning and accounting for consequences, they should not be asked to do so.

So what other options are there, you think. Well, before a friend comes over, have your child put the things away that they would not like to be played with. Then all that's left is happily volunteered.

There is a language of liberty, which doesn't include sharing. Ever. "Would you let Jane play with your doll?" Let the child think about it. Discuss possible outcomes, like a broken toy, with both children. Let the owner make the decision. If it is yes, then make sure the lendee has a time frame and will treat the toy like her own. If onwer says no, then you say, "Susan, Jane says no. You will need to find another toy to play with right now."

I said this idea may challenge you. You may think you will raise a selfish child if you do not force them to share. Is that God's kingdom way? Forcing love, or compassion, or generosity? No, His way is always by choice, always motivated by love. If you respect your child's property and their choices, they will be happier children and better citizens, understanding the liberty (and the responsibility) of private property. And we can raise a generation that will not be so quick to relenquish their rights as this one seems to be.

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Yesterday started the birthday train at our house, and it rolls on through May. First on board is my middle daughter, Princess S. She is now a very grown up six years old.

 She had a fabulous day filled with little gifts, a cool new hot pink Bible (NIV), cards from far-away relatives and lots if well wishes. Around here we like to start our birthdays off with a little token from the "birthday fairy" when they wake up. She bought the idea and when she awoke to find her Little Mermaid night light she was thrilled--and commented that she was surprised she didn't hear the ruffling wings of the fairy's flight. Don't ask me where that fairy idea came from. You may not be keen on fairies, but around here we think them to be quite lovely...

Saturday we will surprise her with a trip to the mall with a friend for a bite to eat and a trip to Build-a-Bear. She's never been so I think she will love it.

Next up: me on the 17th. Some days I feel like the birthday train ran me over...

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