PrincipledMom™

I have been thinking on this quite often lately: what does it mean to be content? (that is a whole other post) Why am I not content? I have been thinking of this in relation to my little home and family. Is what I am doing really "important?" Is it "significant?" I have been asking myself some serious questions along those lines.

What if this is all there is?

Well, what if it is? Is that really so bad? I have a husband that really loves me, beautiful children, and the opportunity to stay at home with them. And yes, I have to listen to the whining and be responsible for their education and spiritual development and never have even a bathroom break by myself. This seems like a pretty good life to me.

What if I'm not doing the right thing?

Am I doing all I know to do in the Lord? Well, that's all I can be responsible for. I must trust God to take care to let me know, and be faithful to listen. And there will ALWAYS be opportunity to work through this one. When do we ever feel 100% sure we are "doing the right thing?"

Isn't it important for me to feel fulfilled?

If I believe I am truly in the will of God, then I should trust that I'm not missing out on something. And there are two words that make me cringe when I see this question written down: me and feel. I have to get beyond my feelings. And beyond myself. My sense of fulfillment doesn't come from changing diapers or wiping snotty noses, or even from doing a relatively good job on a given day. My sense of fulfillment comes from knowing I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whatever form that comes in. That takes the sting out of the bad days for me.

Am I making a difference in the world?

We all have a desire to make our mark on the world, to feel like we left it better than we found it. If I am home all the time how can I possibly impact the world or fulfill the Great Commission? Well, I am raising my children to love God and their fellow man and to reason. I am making a difference in their world. Also I am involved in my local church. and missions (my DH is going to Cambodia next month). and my neighborhood (we live in town). So I'm doing what I can where I am in this season of my life. In another season those obligations and opporunities will change.

What I am coming to realize is that one person is as important as a million. My writing is no less spectacular because only my children saw it. My handmade book no less wonderful because it was a gift in secret. If no one sees my work but God, that's all I need to know. "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" is what I'm really chasing, not the accolades of men. I want to be satisfied that I did it for an audience of one. My work is no less inportant if it's not published or seen and commented on by the masses.

Will I ever have time to do what I want to do?

If I am always cleaning, cooking, studying, and doing things for my family, when do I have time for me? I understand that personal time is important for a well-balanced life, but I don't want one more well-intentioned person offering me a warm bubble bath. I want to know when I will have time to do things I am passionate about: bookmaking, public speaking, writing, sleeping (just kidding!). It sounds so selfish to say out loud, but when is it my turn? Well, I suppose "my turn" comes when my children have left home, or are older. When I got married, and then again when we made the decision and God blessed us with children everything changed. It's not about "me first" anymore. It's about these little beings who need a mother to be invested in their lives. This is a lesson I am still learning because for some reason this hasn't come easily to me. My children need a mom who listens to their silly songs, mediates their arguments and cleans up their vomit. They deserve a mom who will be present in the moment and not so distracted with her own wants and perceived lack of "me time" that she misses the glorious life happening all around her.

What a precious gift I have been given, to invest my life in another. Where else do I get that chance? Where else am I loved so unconditionally and accepted to freely? What other opportunity do I have to give all of myself in such an exhausting way and enjoy the satisfaction that what I am doing really does matter? It's not about the masses on the internet or in great concert halls, it's about the chubby faced dragon-slayer who's found some wonderfully disgusting creature in the garden he wants me to meet. To that boy I am everything. So I savor it. I drink it in like a thirsty woman lost in the desert. The numbers don't matter but the audience. And my audience of four means more to me than any world-wide project.

read comments (5)

What's not to like? I am definitely in need of some strategic loveliness around here.

My five things for this week:

1. paint the table in my living room to match my other furniture
2. give myself a pedicure
3. read more of The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer
4. complete the wedding gift for my cousin and his bride-to-be: a handmade book of course!
5. Serve my dinners at the table, as opposed to serving from the stove (I know, I have a long way to go!)

Joing the fun at Charming the Birds From the Trees.

read comments (0)

I love this guy. And I love how just ordinary people all around us can be really extraordinary. It's a beautiful thing. I hope this boosts his confidence.  And here's more on his story.

read comments (0)

There are times that I feel like somewhat of a sideshow act. Not only do we home educate, but we use the BPA. Oh,  and we plan our own lessons. And we aren't involved in a co-op or other home educating trappings (which isn't a bad thing). I don't wear denim jumpers  and we watch TV. So Even in the home educating community we are stand-outs. Which also isn't a bad thing. But it can get a little lonely from time to time. You need like-minded individuals (not big anonymous groups) to rub elbows with. And online it's easier than ever to find such individuals.

I am thoroughly impressed with the friendship of Abigail Adams and Mercy Otis Warren. They had much in common and forged a lifelong friendship through the turbulent times of the Revolution. Through their beautifully written correspondence they were able to encourage and spur one another on in their efforts to educate their children in less than ideal circumstances.

Here is an excerpt of a letter from Mrs. Warren.

Mrs. Warren to Mrs. Adams:

 "You judge very right in thinking there is much pleasure in instructing the little flock committed to my care. Yet it is not without a mixture of pain when I consider the arduous work,--the importance of the charge, and frequently am I ready to think I am unequal to the trust.

"...I am sensible my own method will admit of much improvement, and though it has been my pleasing task for several years to cultivate the infant mind and plant the seeds of virtue in the bosom of my children, I am yet looking abroad for every foreign aid to enable me to the discharge of a duty of the highest consequence to society;--though this is for a number of years, left almost wholly to our uninstructed sex.

"It is an arduous work to rear the tender plants and impress impress the youthful mind with such sentiments that when they go out of our hands they have only to cultivate them to become useful in their departments,--an ornament to society, and happy themselves forever, when they shall be introduced into more enlarged and glorious scenes.

"I shall be happy indeed if I can acquit myself of the sacred trust by Providence delivered on every mother to the approbation of the juducious observers of life;--but far happier if my conscience, and my judge, announce that no effort has been neglected.

"...I cannot but think the love of truth is of much the greatest importance; moreso than any single principle in the early culture of the mind. A careful attention to fix a sacred regard to veracity, in the bosom of youth, is the surest guard to virtue, and the most powerful barrier against the sallies of vice, through every period of life.When this principle has taken deep root, it usually produces not only generosity of mind, but very many other qualities."

How inspiring! I hope the internet can afford us the same sorts of lasting friendships. The miles are less imposing but the coldness of the internet can be hard too. I have made some wonderful friends here in cyberspace and I hope they are as lasting and as mutually inspiring as the friendship of Mrs. Adams and Mrs. Warren. Now go off an write a nice letter and put it in the mail to a friend. (But you may have to send her an email to get her address!)

read comments (1)

 ...will I take an iron pill on an empty stomach. Who takes that stuff?? There's GOT to be a better way than this. All night, all day, so much nausea, etc. etc. that I have felt like a truck ran me over. All from a little pill. Who'da thunk? At least with morning sickness there's the benefit of the baby. With this, there's just a wasted day and more laundry. And a sore throat.

Well, I think from now on I will stick to a yummy steak. With a nice salad. And maybe a piece of my mom's homemade coconut cream pie. Yeah, that's the ticket. But I guess I'm trying to get more iron, not more weight, am I?

read comments (0)