PrincipledMom™

It's so easy as a home educator to "feel guilty." There's no shortage of stuff to feel guilty about concerning our kids (whether the guilt is deserved or not): too much free time, not enough social time with friends, not enough rigorous academics, too much sugar, too late getting to bed, too little spiritual discussion/application, too little fun and games, too much yelling...

The Holy Spirit reminded me of a scripture today and I wanted to share it here, just in case a reader may struggle with feelings of guilt and/or condemnation.

18 My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. 19 This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality.

20 It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. 21 And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! 22 We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him.                  1 John 3:18-22 The Message

It is so comforting to know that God knows our hearts (Jer 17:9, 10) and He is greater. With God's grace we can be free of guilt, whether it is appropriate or not. Guilt keeps us focused on ourselves. Self-criticism keeps us swirling in our own thoughts and actions. Our worried hearts keep us from resting, physically and mentally.

What is the key to freedom from guilt? L-O-V-E. This passage says to practice real love and that it will "shut down debilitating self-criticism." Mature love (God's kind of love) is the key to many things, like:

freedom from fear--

There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!        1 John 4:18 AMP

stability--

17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.             Eph. 3:17-19 KJV

God is love (1 Jn 4:8). All you need is wrapped up in Him (Eph 1:23). He sent Jesus to us (John 3:16) and He continues to love us as He always has (Eph 2:4-8).

So we are free from guilt because of the work of Christ. If He, as the only one who has a right, does not condemn us, we should not do so ourselves (Rom 8:31-34). Rom 8:31-39 is blessed confirmation of God's commitment to love us:

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Rejoice that you are set free, even from your own worried, self-criticising heart. Nothing you have done, or have yet to do, can separate you from Him and His love, His love that covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Now you can walk free in boldness and get busy living for Christ. Praise God!

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Principle 2: Be Word-focused

When praying with your kids, make sure to include a lot of Scripture. They need to get their prayers from God's Word, and they need to see what God says about their situation. We must keep our minds fixed on the Lord (1 Cor. 10:3-6).

We can't know everything about a situation. We must get the mind of the Lord, properly applying the Word to the situation. Heb. 4:12 Our children must learn how to search God's Word for themselves. Teach them how to use a concordance and how to pray scriptures. One book I highly recommend is Praying the Scriptures by Judson Cornwall.

Show then the Bible isn't just a dusty old book on the shelf. It is alive and filled with God's solutions. He will speak to them  from His Word just as He does you. Let them own that. Give them opportunities to hear from God through His Word.

When they read God's Word faithfully, they will increase their spiritual vocabulary. It is the highest form of literature and it will improve their prayers, making them more articulate and spiritually relevant (making more targeted prayers and not simple "bless my mommy" type prayers). They can read the prayers of others and it will inspire their own prayer time.

It will give them ammunition in their thought life. When ungodly thoughts come to mind they are able to combat them with scripture prayers. If fear tries to come, they can pray, "I thank you father, you have not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Instant prayers are contained in the Scriptures that come to mind in a crisis.

And speaking of a crisis, make a list of scriptures for emergency situations. When things are swirling, that is not the time to crack your Bible and try to find that scripture you can't quite remember. One way you can do that is to have a file box in your kitchen or other central location. Use dividers for topics like healing, love, peace, relationships, etc. and write on scripture on each index card and place in the box. If you ever need them, there they are.

I hope you will use your Bible more with your children in your prayer time, not just as inspiration, but as a part of your armor of God (Eph. 6). The sword of the Spirit is a very effective weapon in your prayer time and teaching your kids how to use God's Word effectively will transform your family prayer time.

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You may or may not know that I am the coordinator for kids prayer at my church. I love praying with kids, especially my own. There is such an purity and trust that comes through when they pray. Prayer is simply a conversation with God, and children love to talk to Him--and to hear from Him too.

 I have been teaching a series on "The 7 Be's of Family Prayer" at different churches for over a year now and have had a lot of positive response.  I wanted to summarize this teaching to help your family in this area. I hope something that is said in this series will ignite your family to pray together more often. 

Principle 1: Be Consistent

God rewards faithfulness. Prayer is something that we do everywhere, all the time (Eph. 6:18). Be instant in season and out of season, ready to pray anytime. Make it a lifestyle. When you pray through your day, your children see that you don't just pray at church or at mealtimes, but God is always ready to talk with us. If you hear of a tragedy somewhere or you pass an accident on the road, take a moment to pray about it. If someone comes to your mind several times, especially if you do not often think of them, pray for them. Pray all events that happen in your family.

Encourage your children to have queit time with God. Even 4 or 5 year olds can listen to praise music or a Bible on tape and have a few quiet moments to think about God. Schedule it into their day and as they grow older it will be a habit they treasure.

Make it a routine, not a stale ritual, to take everything to the Lord in prayer. You will grow closer together as a family, you will have more peace because you allowed God into your daily life and you will have greater joy seeing the answers to those prayers.

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If you would like the complete teaching as an mp3 for $4, please contact me. And stay tuned for principle 2.

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I came across this amazing idea to create a Bible with blank pages for notes. It's so brilliantly simple I wish I had thought of it first! The only thing I would change is the spiral binding. Being a hand book binder myself, it has my mind working on a more beautiful way to get the job done.

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I have made so many "friends" along my homeschool journey--Charles Willson Peale, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Christopher Columbus, Louisa May Alcott, Benjamin West. Then yesterday a new friend came into my life-- Frances Ridley Havergal. We met quite by chance, bumping into one another at a local thrift store. And I am sure I will ever be the same.

The little book I picked up for two dollars was a well-worn copy of Havergal's Kept for the Master's Use. (I have since discovered that she wrote several books for children, which I am now eagerly seeking!) The unassuming tome is thoughful application of Scripture in a personal way, using our lives and bodies to illustrate her points, using her hymn "Take My Life and Let it Be." Chapters include: "Our Hands Kept for Jesus," "Our Voices Kept for Jesus," "Our Silver and Gold Kept for Jesus," "Our Lips Kept For Jesus," and so forth. Here is a sample from her chapter entitled "Our Feet Kept for Jesus:"

The figurative keeping of the feet of His saints, with the promise that when they run they shall not stumble, is a most beautiful and helpful subject. But it is quite distinct from the literal keeping for Jesus our literal feet.

There is a certain homeliness about the idea which helps to make it very real. These very feet of ours are purchased for Christ's service  by the preciious drops which fell from His own torn and pierced feet upon the cross. They are to be His errand-runners. How can we let the world, the flesh and the devil have the use of what has been purchased with such a payment? (p. 60)

And she has this to say about Jesus' hands in the final chapter entitled "Christ for Us:"

3. His Hands "for thee." Literal hands, literally pierced, when the whole weight of His quivering frame hung from the torn muscles and bared nerves; literally uplifted in parting blessing. Consecrated, priestly hands; "filled" hands (Ex. xxviii. 41, xxix. 9, etc., margin)-- filled once with His great offering, and now with His gifts and blessings "for thee." Tender hands, touching and healing, lifting and leading with the gentlest of care. Strong hands, upholding and defending. Open hands, filling with good and satisfying desire (Ps. civ. 28 and cxlv. 16). Faithful hands, restraining and sustaining. "His left hand is under my head and His right hand doth embrace me."

Ms. Havergal's poetic prose and call to consecration are inspiring. I know I will pore over her book for years to come, allowing my new friend to challenge and inspire me, beckoning me higher and higher in Him. So I'm off to put on a pot of tea and sit with my new friend and listen to her thoughts on the Saviour I so dearly love.

Links to her biography, music and writings:

My King: or Daily Thoughts for the King's Children

Poetry Selections from The Ministry of Song

Hymns by Ms. Havergal

The Works of Miss Havergal (Online reading)

Morning Bells; Or, Waking Thoughts for Little Ones

The Havergal Trust

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