PrincipledMom™

This blog is not intended to be divisive. I have removed my post on the $600 sticker because the point was not socialized medicine, but a scary episode with my son. The point of this blog is not to get into discussions about things that will only cause anger and frustration. My comments about socialized medicine were not personal in nature. They were actually referring more to long term and chronic care, which I should have clarified, but I don't think that will matter. My sincerest apologies to anyone who was upset by what was said. Please understand I am a mom like you. I love my kids like you. I have good and bad days like you. I have nothing but good intentions here and rude comments only bring hurt.

With all the trappings of Biblical Principle Approach--word studies, 4-Ring, notebooks, the Red Books, Rudiments, etc.--you can easily get overwhelmed and frustrated. Your idea of home education is not becoming reality and you find yourself tired and frustrated. What do you? Chuck it? Put the kids in school? Change to yet another curriculum? Run away from home?

Unless you are a homeschooler with steely resolve, frustrating times can make you question you methods, your philosophy and--on a bad day--maybe even your sanity. When homeschool life is hard here are some things to  help keep you going.

• Pray and ask God to help you. The Holy Spirit is always available to listen.
• Realize this is temporary. This crisis, this illness, this life itself is temporary. Don't lose sight of the transient nature of life.
•  Use a lifeline. Call a friend. Read your Bible. Take a hot bath. Take the school day off. Do something that re-energises you.
• Take school slow. Slow down. Find a rabbit trail, put your lessons on hold for a few days while you learn about something interesting and unexpected.
•  Just cover the basics. Don't try to do more until you can do more. Your kids won't suffer.
•  Write down your philosophy of education, any scriptures that you feel apply to your schooling and any inspiring quotes. Put them in a nice book and use it to encourage yourself. When times are hard, pull out that book and remind yourself why you are doing this.
• Keep a journal. It is great to vent your frustrations, question things and just plain old talk to yourself. It's also a great place to encourage yourself and to keep record of life's little successes.
• Take stock. Review some past work and see how far you really have come. It will jog your memory to character issues that have resolved or funny things that happened.
• Let your kids teach you. Put them in the hot seat and let them show you what they have learned. That will be good for a laugh or two and you may be surprised at how knowledgeable they really are.
• Reach out to encourage another mom. So many times when I am down I will call or write another mom and it lifts me up as well.

In my post on the encouragement addiction I tried to make the case that sometimes we can be a little too quick to let others be our Holy Spirit, seeking validation and affirmation from others when we should be looking to the Lord. I stand by my argument but I want to add something.

There is a place, not for empty platitudes, but for true encouragement. It is right and scriptural and compassionate. Who, while traveling the often difficult road of life, would not stop to comfort and strengthen a struggling soul along the way? Sometimes our dry and thirsty hearts long for the refreshing touch of another person.We may understand the idea that God is with us but sometimes we need a tangible sense of His presence in the form of a hug or an encouraging word.

A word spoken in season can be like a gentle rain, softening the ground for God's Word to sprout forth. And hopefully this little sprout will become a tree of Life, offering fruit of the Spirit to another weary traveler on life's highway. This is the Power of One, this life-giving relay race that depends on the generous love of one person for another.

Never think for a moment that someone may not need your kind words. You could be the difference in a bad day and a good day, between frusatration with life and a little peace. Be liberal with your kindness and stingy with your criticism and you will be surprised how even your own burden has become a little lighter.

As a home educating mom with a few years under my belt I've been around the block a few times. And in the way of home education resources there aren't too many things I haven't read or seen out there. When I feel I am struggling with a situation in my little homeschool I'm glad I know where to go to find some instant (or at least pretty quick) answers. After many years of this it got me thinking. I'm not so sure this is a good thing.

When writing to a friend a few months ago I asked a question in passing that has haunted me ever since: why are home educators in need of so much encouragement? We are probably the only segment of the American population that has so many resources and materials devoted to making us comfortable with our choices. Who else gets constant reassurance that they are okay, that they are doing the right thing, using the right materials, doing it the right way? Don't get me wrong we all need encouragement. It's scriptural to encourage one another, but I think it has replaced faith to some degree.

Why am I so reluctant to trade my life of faith for the quick affirmations of well-meaning friends? Why do I look to those around me for answers and not to God Who has all wisdom?  I shortchange myself with a quick satisfaction and once again deny myself the contentment of God's answers in God's time. Instead of laying my worries and concerns at His feet I pick up a magazine or visit a web site for a dose of peace. But it never lasts for long and I'm right back where I started.

So the cycle goes on and on. We feel the need for constant intermittent encouragement to satisfy the doubts and fears. This we pass on to our children without realizing it. Now we may be training another generation to require the same reassurances. They are not left with questions to wrestle or self-esteem in doubt. Soothing words flow in a stream of consciousness we probably don't even realize we are perpetuating.

We should look for encouragement to God's Word. In difficult times David encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Sam. 30:6, Ps. 42:11). Jude admonished his readers to build themselves up in their most holy faith through prayer (Jude 20). Today's Christians who are persecuted and languish in prison rely on their scripture memory and their faith to encourage themselves through perilous circumstances. Encouragement has its place, but I want to lean on the Lord and take the pressure off my friends. They are not my Holy Spirit and I never want to put them in such a place.

In closing, if I may offer you a bit of encouragement inspiration, I leave you with my new favorite song, by Sara Groves. And the lyrics to another song that I think fits this post.

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

You Are My Strength by Reuben Morgan

I am very good at starting things. I am visionary and can see in the tiny seed of an idea the forest it can become. Starting things is exhilarating. Like a new love interest, you can't wait to dream and plan and work on the relationship. The new thing is filled with possibility and hope that it will work out like you have envisioned.

There are three steps to any project: planning, doing, evaluating. This is God's nature: king, judge, lawgiver (Is. 33:22) and it is a principle that we can take to the bank. Success in any endeavor depends on these three simple steps.

I am really great at the first step. Things are sparkling and bursting with potential. To me, planning is great fun. It's the chance to dream big, to let an idea play out in your mind to its fullest potential. This is the best part, or so it seems. Like new snow, an opportunity begs for footprints, for action. But all the emotions and newness can be deceitful. It isn't the best part.

I skip the second step for the most part and move right to evaluating. This is where the frustration really sets in. When there is no doing, there is nothing to check, except the plans. It is easy to get down on yourself because you didn't do your plans. Or you didn't do them well, or long enough, or whatever. This is not the reason for the steps. Others are stuck in this step, always doing and never taking time to plan or stepping back to see what was accomplished.  Doing doing doing isn't the best part either.

During the creation week God would end each day by evaluating what He had done (which, of course, is good). He's really great perfect at these three steps. Me? Not so much. I'm into the rush of the new. So I never get to the "atta girl" satisfaction part. For the most part I never get to look back and say, "That was good." And I'm not just talking about monumental projects. I mean I need to consciously do these three steps in the little things. Planning time, cleaning out the fridge and saying, "That was good."I am not in this three step habit. But I want to be and prayerfully I will be more tomorrow than I am today.

I have to toss in more of the second step. The daily grind of checking off the list and doing the dishes and teaching the kids. Day after day, just being in the moment, not in the planning or the evaluating but in the doing, the serving. When I get the doing part down then things will really start cooking. I will enjoy something I have tasted too little of. Finishing is where it's at.